He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
