It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
