living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
