is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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