I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
