very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
