Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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