literally had 100 drinks last night.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
