Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
