Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
