Will you blow on my dice?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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