Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Damn victory sex feels great
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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