i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
