I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
