sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
