Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
