It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
