my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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