I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize
