Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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