Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
