my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
