Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
