Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
