K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
