these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
