The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
