Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
