You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
