Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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