i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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