Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
