My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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