i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Randomize
