If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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