Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
