I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
