Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Randomize
