i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
We are two peas in an std pod
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Randomize
