some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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