ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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