I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
