That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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