someone get that fucking seahorse.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
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