is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize