PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
