You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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