remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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