You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
