therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I could make wine with my vomit
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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