they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
