Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
